Do you too have difficulty saying no? Saying yes is not a good thing when you didn’t intend it to. If that is the case, why is it so difficult to say no?
There have been times I have said yes, even though I wanted to say no. I regret those days now. I used to think that saying yes will harm no one. But I was wrong.
Being available easily and doing whatever they ask for made me frustrated and annoyed. I could not give time to myself or my family, even though I suffered at my job as well. I started being rude day by day, shouting at people and had lost peace of mind.
You got your job too, there are things on your shelves that need to be done. If you go on doing other stuff, who will do yours? You are not a superhuman, you can’t do everything. Of course, you can help others, but you need to help yourself too.
It’s difficult to say no, especially to friends and family. If they ask you a favor, most of the time you do it. But soon, people take you for granted. They take your kindness to be your weakness. That’s why you should know when to say “No”.
Saying “No” does not put you in being guilty. You can say that politely and in the comfort of your boundaries. It’s your right and your decision. No one can force you. If you willingly want to help someone, do it as no one can force you to do so.
Here are 5 things that worked for me
1. know the reason for saying no
Before saying a no or yes, think for a while. The reason for either of them should be clear in your mind. Think about it, does the job fall in your responsibilities? Can’t it be done by others? What are the consequences of doing it or not doing it? Before that, yes, go through the above first.
2. Think about yourselves too
People will ask for your favors. Some days you might do it, but on some, you can’t. Don’t go saying no to everyone, if you have time and your work is done then you can help them. If someday, you are busy with your work, you can say no to them and some will understand you.
If they persist and keep on forcing you to do the job. Tell them and make them understand why you can’t do the job. Saying that you are not superhuman, is the reason for saying no. Also, you get your work too and you have to finish it first. There is a valid reason for not accepting the offer, you are not ready for it or it doesn’t suit you.
4. Recommend someone else
If saying no makes you guilty, there is one thing you can do. Recommend someone else for the job. It is the job that needs to be done. If someone else can do it, then why not ask them?
5. It’s your choice
When people ask you for a favor, you have the choice of saying no or yes. Being helpful is a good thing, but only if you are helping them. If your help is making others lazy, then you should not do it. If you burden yourself with others’ tasks, who is going to do your job.
6. Establish boundaries
Setting boundaries for others and for yourself is very important. Don’t let others cross your boundaries to make you feel guilty or force you to do your job.
Conclusion
Helping those in need is a good thing. But doing it often is not a healthy habit. People might take advantage of your kindness. So learn to say no. Before helping, always find out. Do they need it? Also saying no is not a bad thing until it is not an emergency.
Related- It is ok in not to be perfect
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